Monday, November 24, 2014

A brief off the farm adventure

I was told this weekend that "something always goes wrong when we go out."

Uh, excuse me? I get the horses on and off the property in one whole piece and you're going to tell me something always goes wrong?!

Yeah okay, I'm beginning to see a trend.

Example 1) Going to see Alfredo Hernandez have a clinic. We arrive two hours after everyone has packed up and gone home for the day. Whoops.

Example 2) Going to JK Presents. I try to stuff my goosy horse in a trailer and he nearly rips my thumbnail off (only to later hop on the trailer with an innocent whuffing noise. "What? I do this every day. Why are you all laughing in hysteria?). Oh, plus the whole "my poor working student didn't even have time to warm up before her first show ever" bit. Another whoops.

Example 3) Going to the play day. Ol' trusty lesson horse Able freaked the ever living daylights out and dropped to the floor the the trailer, scrabbled around like a freaky 1000lb crab and then escaped to gallivant all over the farm.

Example 4) We load up a few horses to practice riding off the property, show up at the "Members Only" showground, and happily wave my passcard in front of the beeper. (Is there a technical term for that thing? I'll never know). Only to have the little light blink red and the gates not to open. "Uhhh try it again?" BEEP. Nothing.

BEEP. Nothing. BEEP BEEP BEEP nothing. I flip the card over and repeat my little dance.

We call the number so prominently posted for those having trouble. "We're sorry, this number has been disconnected."

Oh jeez you have got to be kidding me! Of course ms. Mechanical doesn't see it as a joking time, so she didn't reply.

Uuuuuggggghhhh. But we got onto the property (by parking somewhere we REALLY shouldn't have, acquiring a number of nasty looks for what I thought was the horses but later decided was the reeking and permeating scent of skunk billowing out of the truck, and then meandering onto the property).

And we had a fabulous time.

I'm going to say it was a success.

We decided to take Bert & Camou first because I had a sneaking suspicion they'd be the most difficult. I was right. Bert the Brontosaurus took one look at that rattling metal death trap and said "hell to the no, my head don't even fit in there" where he proceeded to behave like he'd never been led around in his life and could not comprehend how to turn around.

So then while Bert is all leapy and misbehaving, the aforementioned working student is holding the door to the trailer open while trying to hang, somewhat desperately, onto Camou. Now, Camou is nothing if not suggestible, so poor little idiot was thinking "THIS IS SO MUCH FUN WHY ISN'T SHE LETTING ME PLAY?"

Because rearing is not playing to people, you goober.

So we put him in the round pen to play it out while I beat Bert onto the trailer.

And in the process he got very,




I sort of tried to brush him off, as evidenced above. It only sort of worked. Maybe because I only sort of tried.

Anywho, after successfully getting Bertasaurus and Christmas Pony off and on the trailer a dozen times, we put them back in their stalls without ever taking them off the property. Take THAT, those who think you really should follow through on a plan instead of tackling only the immediate goal.

Then we took Danny and Jimmy off the property (they loaded without hesitation, the well-traveled four-leggeds that they are) and tralumphed about. It was great fun.

We were trying to set up a few jumps. Turns out that standards are heavy and I'm a huge wuss, so we only set up two jumps.

I'm already looking forward to going back! Membership card not working, whatever! I can break in and I've paid my member dues anyhow. 

The above is the full video of Camou being a total dorkus. Be warned, this video is accompanied with my irritating attempts to put the BrontoBertasaurus in the trailer. 


  1. definitely sounds like an adventure was had by all lol

  2. Sounds super fun! Can't wait to load camou before the show ��

    1. Christmas Pony was all "I dunno about this, my ex-owner had a WAY fancier trailer than this, I can't do it!!!!!" and then he pulled his own weird version of a levade and carefully set two front feet down on the trailer at once.

      Total goose.

      Then he figured it out.

      He'll be fine.