Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Trust and b.r.a.v.i.n.g pt 2

I posted the element pieces that I've been meditating on yesterday because I needed to think further before writing this second piece.

A big part of trust is self-knowledge and self-trust, I think. As I progressively become a better trainer through the experience I gain, the books I read, the lessons I take, and as time passes - I notice that my horses have come to trust me more. I have become more consistent. I put more faith in the passing of time and the healing power of consistent work for horses. I less often hope for miracles.

I've also been thinking about trust as it relates to the relationship between me and my clients. My clients have to trust that I am both progressing their children adequately and allowing the children time to grow. They trust that I am giving their kids the correct tools and experiences to become better riders.

The riders themselves come to trust that, while sometimes I get quite loud and push for a change to occur, I will not push them beyond what they are capable of. The riders come to trust that I want them to be the best riders that they can be, that I match them with certain horses for a reason, and so on.

Tango is literally crushing me in this selfie 
I admit - sometimes I fail in this. Sometimes, when a kid says, "Harley won't..." or "andy just..." or otherwise blames the horses, I get frustrated. I don't always explain what I want clearly enough. Sometimes I expect understanding when I've explained something once, rather than appreciating and having the patience to see that I need to explain things many times, and allow them to be practiced and absorbed over time. 

And this is where the self-trust comes in. I've learned about myself, over time, that I take accountability for when I fail. I go back and explain things again, I put forward new exercises, I change horses. This is something that I had to learn.

When you do not trust a horse, you cannot make the generous assumptions that are of paramount importance to training him. When you do not trust your horse not only do you create mental tension, but this translates to a tremendous amount of physical tension that cannot allow your horse to perform well, etc, etc.

What it all comes to, I guess, is this: have you ever struggled with trust in your relationship with your horse, your trainer, or your riding friends? Would having the language to discuss it have helped you solve the problem? What solved your problem in this case?

1 comment:

  1. trust is such a complicated subject, especially in that it is quantifiable in some ways (for more on that concept, i love Nicole's trust bank post here: https://zenbabyhorse.wordpress.com/2015/04/15/the-trust-bank/).

    but i agree completely that trusting one's self is a critical component for trusting others and being ourselves trustworthy (for horses and humans alike), if that makes sense. tho honestly, i don't think we are really talking about trust in absolute terms here - this isn't about falling backwards with our eyes shut, knowing we will be caught. rather, i think it's more about 'knowing' or 'understanding' ourselves and our horses and the individuals around us well enough that we can make those 'generous assumptions,' as you say. in some ways, maybe 'trust' is synonymous with 'confidence.'

    but yea, all that to say that i think it's important for riders (especially adult ammies) to take the time to consider this subject or talk about it with their trainers, since it can have such a big positive impact on riding!