Friday, August 26, 2016

The JellyBean Who Tried Dressage

(got eaten, but you'll have to wait for that.)

I believe in their simplest form, horses resemble jellybeans. Look closely at the photo of the horse above, and then carefully at the below photo of a jellybean.

Striking, isn't it?

Okay. So perhaps the colors don't match perfectly.... let's examine further.

Out of the herd I thinned the options down to the following:

Pretty eerie, huh? The resemblance to my mare is spot on.

Okay. So these Jellybeans sign up for a lesson in dressage. These beans are pasture raised beans and haven't done a lot, but they look at fancy dressage beans and think "hahahaha that is EASY!"

Their trainer presents them with this:

"What's this?" The beans ask.

"A circle." The trainer replies.

And so happily off go the beans to try their hand at a circle.

"No, no," the trainer says, "you've completely lost your hindquarters. You must bend onto the circle."

"Augh!" exclaims the trainer, "now you're completely crooked!"

One jellybean attempts and, with some luck, starts out with their natural hollow side to the center of the circle and so the trainer sighs in relief. Finally, she thinks, someone who knows how to ride a simple circle. 

Matters are not so good for the jellybean when they track the other direction, however.

The jellybean feels squished, and prodded, and changed. The jellybean does not like change.

"Stick with it," the trainer calls, "you must be more determined!"

In the end, did the jellybeans get it? Did the jellybeans accomplish "dressage"?

Not really. Because they were eaten.


  1. This is awesome!!!

    100% agree & now I want some jellybeans 😋

    1. I spent $7 on three different packets of jelly beans to find one that I thought vaguely resembled Kat

  2. Lolz striking resemblance indeed haha

  3. I wish all dressage lessons involved jelly beans!

    1. YES forget positive reinforcement for the horse, let's reinforce the rider.

  4. I was ready for a really deep meaning and I refuse to not find one. I must be the jelly bean. I must feel the jelly bean. I must breathe the jelly bean. This jelly bean WILL DRESSAGE by golly!