With Vegas National coming up, I've been putting myself under a tremendous amount of pressure. I want to be riding my best to represent the horses as well as possible. I want to learn everything I can from JM in order to serve the horses. I've been thinking and re-hashing each of my rides so thoroughly that I feel I can recite every step to you of Kat's last few training sessions.
This has been good, as the horses are going very well. This has also been bad as I think that I'm reaching the upper limit of what I'm mentally and physically capable of for the time being. I was supposed to ride Kat today but instead groomed her and pat her and put her away.
|Omeprazole for stressed mare!|
It's funny because I want to document the good things (see photo below) and yet know that what I find most valuable in this blog is the procedural writings. Or perhaps when I dig into my processes and write it up.
The past 60 days have been a whirlwind: a new horse purchased and brought into full training, a new horse purchased and unloaded completely lame (sound now, thank god), moved into a new house, officially ended a long term relationship, plans kicked around and finalized for a trip to show in Vegas, several new clients in the mix, etc.
I've also been studying Brene Brown's book Rising Strong. She writes about the process of putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, putting your best effort forward. This most recent book is about being face-down in the dirt and getting back up. It feels ridiculously poignant for me at the moment: how do we come out of this stronger, kinder, more compassionate? How do we push ourselves to the point where every moment feels tremulous and uncertain and still be forging a stronger rider, trainer, mentor?
|Basically my favorite shirt ever|
I'm feeling my way through it. Just carefully.
James Clear published an article about how research shows that writing about your values is a more powerful mood-balancer than simply writing about what's good.
Robin Sharma wrote about the greatest people he's ever met and how it's a call to live more intensely.
|Thank god for focused dogs|
All this rambling to write this: I'm learning so much right now. I'm playing with bend and balance and tiny canter-in-place and finding the limits of each horse's strength and flexibility. I'm trying to open up to my clients and let them know that look, I'm struggling right now, but I'm more committed than ever to making sure that every day you have more tools to help you improve. Every day we can take one step closer to our ultimate goal.
|And this adorable pony who makes this face every. single. time. you squeal "AREN'T YOU ADORABLE" at him|