I had an itch

7:45pm. My lesson is over. My arena is lit haphazardly by my 4/6 lights that work on any given night. I have to ride my horse.

8:20pm. Good god. I'm exhausted by today. Can I get away with just this longing session? Nope. He needs the exercise.

8:25pm. He feels good. He's moving through his whole body, he's steady in the bridle. I'm focusing on my balance, making sure I'm not hindering his movement.

8:30pm. Our trot spirals have gone really well, and he feels incredibly supple. He's leaning on my inside rein a little, so I push him forward, focusing on the surge of energy, on keeping stable above him, on encouraging that hind to come under.

Suddenly it feels as if the whole world's sound has been dampened. I can't hear very well. My ear is aching. I want to scratch it.

Tango steps under with his inside hind, his trot developing a cadence that wasn't there a moment before. I half-halt again, asking for more. He's got more in there.

My ear HURTS. It pangs me.

I sit Tango back even more, coiling energy for a nice lengthening. I'm still trying to ignore my ear. He's going so well, just one more good lengthening and then we'll walk and I'll itch it.

The world comes into focus again as he lengthens, surging forward with long and wonderful steps.

I sit him back. I leg yield a step into my outside rein and ask for the strike off. His shoulders rise in front of me and we rock along our circle. He tries to come above the bridle and I ask him to remain round, even though it's harder.

And then my ear itches again. Without thinking, I drop the reins and itch my ear. The itching makes it hurt even worse. I don't really know what to do. I think that maybe if I rub my whole head on my shoulder that'll make it better, so I do.

And then I remember that I'm riding a horse. We were doing a dressage school. He was going wonderfully.

Not only am I riding a horse, I'm riding a horse that two months ago would have been charging about the arena, had I dropped the reins. But instead of charging, Tango decided to stretch his nose down and drift off the circle, keeping a nice and quiet canter.

Good god, I love my horse.